You Don't Wanna E-mail Jack

He checks his work email from home. He is supremely proud of himself for being able to do this. The thing is, nobody ever emails him. We imagine Jack sitting in his highly-appointed home office on a fun-filled Sunday afternoon as he slowly clicks through all of the generic, office-wide emails addressed to "General Standard Employees," nodding slowly with self-importance as he reads three or four messages that have absolutely nothing to do with him, his job, or his life in general. He is also drinking a cup of coffee in the scenario- Sanka- and is of course wearing black socks and too-short pants.